


It’s the most wondeful time of the year

by Mimisempai



Series: It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas [6]
Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Christmas Eve, Christmas Fluff, Fluff, From Sex to Love, Gift Exchange, Idiots in Love, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:15:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28118304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mimisempai/pseuds/Mimisempai
Summary: As Sonny prepares to spend Christmas Eve alone, he receives a surprise visit from his lover.Could an exchange of gifts change their purely sexual relationship to something more pleasurable?
Relationships: Rafael Barba/Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr.
Series: It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2052099
Comments: 4
Kudos: 41





	It’s the most wondeful time of the year

Sonny had made a number of miscalculations in his life, rarely in the work field, but much more often in human interactions. He had trusted the wrong person, misinterpreted someone's intentions, given too much or too little - the list was long.

But nothing had ever been more of a reckless decision than the development of his feelings for Rafael.

Rafael may no longer have been the ADA in charge of SVU cases, but he was now a judge, and Sonny had now been in Rafael's former position for a few weeks. But the most important thing, for Sonny anyway, was that he was also the man who has been keeping Sonny's bed warm for the past two years.

It wasn't a relationship, in fact, the first year, for Sonny it was nothing but sporadic sex of exceptional quality. They ended up having sex only fourteen times in that twelve month period, yes Sonny kept score. But the following year, this year, they had started seeing each other more often and for other occasions than only casual sex.

Rafael came to see him more frequently, showing up once and sometimes even twice a week. It was great, but it was starting to go much deeper for Sonny... Rafael was incredible, and Sonny was attracted to him like a moth to the flame.

And that's when the first hint of miscalculation started, and from there on, it just got worse. Sonny realized that he was completely in love with Rafael, but Rafael was not. So Sonny tried to convince himself that it was just casual, fun sex. It wasn't affection or a relationship, but then, why did Sonny spend three weeks trying to find the perfect gift? Why did he put it in a small green and gold box, knowing that Rafael didn't care about Christmas and that he would read everything Sonny felt in that one gesture?

Sonny knew that his calculations were wrong and that in this situation, one plus one was not equal to two, but he couldn't help but offer something to Rafael. Everyone important to him received a gift, and even though he would never give Rafael his and it would stay forever in his bedside table drawer, at least he felt better knowing it was there.

Sometimes he would take it out in the days before Christmas. He would open it and watch the white gold pendant in the shape of a judge's hammer and the elegant matching cufflinks.

Sonny imagined Rafael wearing the pendant at night, straddling him as they kissed and swung their hips together. Both embraced in bed, Sonny twiddling the pendant with his fingertips, Rafael wearing nothing but Sonny's gift. The white gold would look beautiful against Rafael's golden chest, showing that he accepted Sonny's affection and wanted a more permanent relationship between them... but who was Sonny kidding? It was never going to happen.

That's why it was in a drawer, out of sight, but not out of his mind. Sonny tried to forget about it. He focused on the gifts he had bought for his friends, for the evening he was going to spend with Mike, Nick, Liv and Noah.

And that evening made him forget about Rafael. He was drawn into Christmas stories and carols. He ate too much, but only had a few glasses of eggnog. He felt surprisingly cheerful when the party ended, everyone left and he went back to his apartment.

He was going to spend Christmas alone, his family was spending the holidays at Teresa's house, but Sonny couldn't take a long vacation because he was still new to the prosecutor's office. He had only two days off and just the round trip to his sister would take half of his time off. He had reassured everyone, family and friends not to feel guilty by saying that he would not be alone but by remaining evasive enough to avoid any questions. But the harsh reality is that on Christmas Eve he would be alone. Sonny was happy that his friends and family were happy. They had loved ones, partners and lives outside of Sonny. He was alone, but he was going to be okay.

Sonny looked out his living room window, the city was bathed in lights and full of festivities, Christmas Eve in New York City was a hell of a time of year. He had decorated his apartment. Sonny loved Christmas.

He touched the glass with his fingers and sighed. It was hard not to be melancholy during this time.

"You telling me about the Christmas spirit, but watching you, that seems pretty depressing..."

The sudden voice startled Sonny, who turned around. Rafael was in the entrance, leaning against the door frame, Sonny must have been really lost in his thoughts, he hadn't heard him come in. For practical reasons, he had long ago given Rafael the keys to his apartment.

Sonny smiled instantly at the sight of the man, unable to stop his reaction.

"You should have seen our little party, it was anything but depressing."

Rafael raised an eyebrow, a subtle question for Sonny to continue, but Sonny didn't want to talk about a party where everyone had left. He didn't want to talk about a party that he couldn't have invited Rafael to, even though he thought he could have said yes.

Instead, Sonny approached, planning to pull Rafael into a kiss. He could talk about sex, to keep Rafael happy and engaged. He could then tempt him with a few promises of sexual favors, get him through the night, and maybe, if he was lucky, have Rafael linger after they woke up.

Perhaps he could give Rafael enough motivation to spend Christmas morning with him.

But when Sonny began to walk confidently and reached out his hand to touch him, his intention obvious, Rafael tensed. This caused Sonny to freeze and his heart to clench. Rafael had never turned down a sexual advance before, Sonny felt painful and sharp panic in his chest.

Was Rafael finished with him? Was it over? Had he finally pushed Rafael away?

But, before the agony of being dumped on Christmas Eve set in completely, Rafael looked away from Sonny and whispered, "This is ridiculous."

Sonny frowned, and before he could ask Rafael what he meant, Rafael's hand moved at full speed, and a moment later, a wrapped box was thrown towards Sonny.

Sonny's mouth opened in surprise. Rafael had given him a Christmas present? Sonny looked at him for a long time, too stunned to move. Rafael looked even more uncomfortable and confused. Sonny couldn't believe it, but Rafael looked uncomfortable.

He covered it up by whispering disparaging remarks about Christmas and Sonny in general, but Sonny was barely listening when he picked up the box. He removed the black ribbon and unwrapped the green and red Christmas paper. His heart was pounding and he felt excited about what was inside. He didn't know what to expect, but what he found when he lifted the lid made him frown. It was an ink pen, obviously already used.

As he grabbed it he saw something finely engraved, he brought it close to his eyes to read.

_Rafael Barba - Harvard Law - Class of 19XX_

Sonny's heart leapt. "Was that yours?"

"Of course it was." Rafael replied curtly as if he didn't want to linger.

Sonny swallowed and added, "But you don't want to keep it? It's something precious."

"That's exactly why I want you to have it."

Not knowing what to say, Sonny turned the beautiful pen in his hand and saw that there was something more engraved and that the engraving looked recent, almost new.

_Dominick 'Sonny' Carisi Jr. - Fordham law - class of 20XX_

What ? Rafael had Sonny's name engraved in the same place as his, on an object that belonged to him and was now destinated to be Sonny's property..

The thought turned in Sonny's mind and made his heart beat wildly. He felt warm and he felt at the same time the excitement and fear of what it could mean.

Rafael seemed to avoid looking at Sonny, so Sonny stepped forward and gently touched Rafael's folded arms. The man was startled and finally looked at him. His expression was suspicious and cautious. Sonny smiled.

"Thank you, Rafael." He squeezed Rafael's arm. "Will you stay here for a second?"

Rafael frowned. His suspicion and uncertainty persisted, but he nodded anyway. Sonny walked away and gently placed the gift on the bar. Then he rushed to his room and took the box out of its drawer. He walked towards Rafael and found him staring at his gift with an expression that did not hide his insecurity about the way Sonny received it.

Sonny approached him and handed him his own gift. Rafael stared at it with surprise, but he took it and lifted the lid. He breathed in when he saw the pendant and the buttons. He took out the pendant and put the box on the bar beneath the one from Rafael. He lifted the chain so that the pendant was at eye level and studied it more closely.

"Is there anything written on it?"

"Ahem… yes"

Rafael smiled when he saw the R on one end of the hammer, but as he turned around to look at the second end, his mouth rounded with surprise. And in a breath he says, "S."

Rafael's eyes turned to Sonny. Their eyes stayed glued together, Sonny's eyes filled with hope, Rafael's eyes tinged with disbelief, and then slowly, in perfect harmony, they smiled and let out a sweet laugh. Rafael passed the chain around his neck.

Sonny felt like he was on top of the world when he watched him do it. Then he couldn't help but touch with his fingertips the pendant against Rafael's chest, leaving his hand lying there.

"Merry Christmas, Rafael."

Rafael smiled again and always in perfect harmony, they came closer together until they embraced each other, sealing it with a sweet kiss. Rafael stepped back and took Sonny's cheek with one hand, his thumb resting gently on Sonny's skin before kissing him again. It was a tender kiss, full of unsaid love, and he stole all of Sonny's breath.

When Rafael withdrew, he was still smiling.

"Merry Christmas, Sonny," Rafael said to him in a warm voice.

He began to move back and away, but Sonny caught his arm, keeping it close to him. Rafael was startled, but Sonny held his gaze.

"Celebrate with me." He swallowed nervously. "Stay until it's over. Stay the night." He pressed Rafael's arm. "Stay with me tomorrow."

This was against their relationship and their functioning, he did not try to bribe or manipulate Rafael with sexual favors. He did not categorically deny that he would want Rafael to stay with him one day. On the contrary, he honestly and openly asked Rafael to spend Christmas with him.

Concern and insecurity had filled Sonny, but as a small, sweet smile adorned Rafael's mouth and Sonny felt that he could breathe.

"I'm going to stay," Rafael said, and Sonny let out a heavy, relieved breath.

He would have collapsed against Rafael if the other man hadn't already pulled him closer. He found himself pressed against Rafael, and a moment later, to his great shock, Rafael's arms wrapped around him and held him tight. Sonny closed his eyes and hugged Rafael back in the same way. And telling himself that he was no longer one miscalculation away, he whispered against his hair, "I love you."

Holding his breath as he felt Rafael freeze, he felt Rafael's lips blow a slight "Me too Sonny" against his neck. He breathed again and relaxed, letting himself be lulled by the magic of the moment.

Standing in the middle of his apartment on Christmas Eve with Rafael, Sonny had the miraculous and incredible feeling that his calculations had finally proven to be right.

  
  



End file.
